Feedback is constant in the tech industry – whether it’s code reviews, design crits, software design documents, or performance review cycles. But I’ve noticed how easily that feedback can accidentally blur into something that feels more negative – until it starts to feel like constant criticism. When that happens, working relationships get strained, and even strong teams can start to suffer. High performers can start to feel like even their best work isn’t good enough, which is a fast route to burnout.
I’ve thought a bit about how I’ve mostly avoided this dynamic, and I think the following principles have helped:
Balance praise and critique
Sometimes a piece of work is solid overall, but the reviewer only leaves comments on what could be improved. Without acknowledging what’s good, the author is left with the impression that it’s all wrong.
Taking the time to highlight the good parts can help keep things balanced, and makes the constructive parts of the feedback easier to hear.
Prioritise what really matters
People, documents, code, designs all have things that really need improving, and other things that while could be improved won’t make or break it. These improvements are also often very subjective anyway, or a matter of personal style.
Focus on what’s really important, and don’t overwhelm the author with a comment on every tiny detail. The volume of the feedback affects how it feels as much as the content. Sometimes the order matters too. Also, feedback should be given when it genuinely will help, not because you feel you need to give some in order to be senior.
When to give feedback in person (or on a call)
If there’s a lot to say, it’s often better to talk it through live. Nobody enjoys that sinking feeling seeing 50 comment notifications, after spending hours finishing a piece of work. In these cases, talking it through makes the overall tone clearer, and makes a faster back-and-forth possible.
This also has the side effect of being less visible to others, which depending on the situation can be useful. A flood of public feedback can feel demoralising in itself.
Don’t ask people to do stuff you couldn’t do yourself
Or at least, things you couldn’t have done yourself at one point in your career.
I’ve seen cases where someone becomes a tech lead without much confidence in their own technical skills, and end up shifting fully into critique mode. This is a whole topic in itself, but when it happens, it’s hard for others to take the feedback seriously. Leading by example, or from experience, matters. There are exceptions to this rule though!
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It’s possible I’ve avoided these pitfalls by not being direct enough at times. The number of times I’ve had the “be less British” feedback from managers in performance reviews would make an HR department wince. There’s something to that, but I’ve also seen what happens when people overcorrect and lean too hard into constant critique. Neither extreme works, so there’s definitely a balance to be found.
The real skill is understanding how each individual person best receives feedback, and delivering it in that way.